I don't get you.

Haiz theres so many things i want to type out now but i know if you see it i will regret.
Like how you regret about your choice.
but a slightly different kind of regret.
?
but anyway.
i think i've sacrificed alot.
you won't notice.
cos you never do.
and you probably think you sacrificed more than me.
but deep down we all know that is so not fucking true.
im just gonna do it one more time.
so do whatever you want.
i don't know what to trust that comes out of your mouth anymore.
is it really for other reasons, i will not know.
i just hope you make the right choice.
and i will let you make whatever choice you want.

you can't even hear the unhappiness.
you just keep going on and on about your happiness.
argh. i so need someone to talk to....

what a grade man.
i told myself that if i got this i would be damn contented already.
but now im feeling all screwed up.
arghhh.
i know it ain't thaaaat bad.
but seriously it ain't tt good either.

i got what i wanted.
but deep down i really really really wanted to get better. like really fucking bad.
maybe thats why i broke down.

i really worked my ass off this time.
wtf.

Had this dream just now whereby i was in my old house at bedok res. Heard some commotion in the living room, so i went to the living room to see what was happening. Saw my dad and my 2nd sis, and 3 strangers, this boy and 2 girls. apparently my dad caught one of the girls and the boy kissing and hugging outside my hse. so he invited them into my hse, slapped the girl's face and said to me 'xin, you better watch this!'. hahahahaha wth what a dream right.

anyhoo, its like 5.15am now but im not sleepy yet. jetlag?

so, prom is over. christmas is over. new years is over. turkey trip is over. chalet is over. next thing up would be the results.

):

i miss turkey alot. alot alot alot alot alot. the weather there was so cold, it made me angry in the mornings. lol. but the 9 days in turkey was so great):

okay evaluation for 2009.
wouldn't say that it was horrible for me. there were a few pretty good times i guess. but a few regrets too. argh but who doesn't do regretful things once in a while yea?

hope 2010 would be awesome-er!!

went to fb to look around, and happened to land on your page.
so, we finally broke the promise, you shit ass. lol.
bet you forgot about it. but it doesn't matter.
it was eons ago anyway and we were just being young and childish and afraid.
it would be nice to catch up abit though.
argh how can someone be so annoying and hate-able but yet so forgivable?
damn, you piece of shit!

fb kills alot of braincells hor, yx? sigh.

its 5.29am now and im so going to be late tmr cos im quite sure i'll not hear my alarm clock. yx and xws gonna kill me.

anyhoo. one last thing.

i can't thing of a new blog name. its so annoying. im really really really out of ideas. everything i want is taken -.- shit balls. thats why i didn't blog for so long. because i was planning to blog only after i switched to my new blog url. and partly also because the holidays were pretty packed la.

oh, and i want to say sorry to anybody i've hurt, angered, or annoyed last year. especially you, heard i did some major damage.. it was pure mean and its probably the 135274th time i said sorry to you (which seems to takes the meaning of it all away). i still think about those times occasionally and feel all apologetic.

ok. finally feeling abit sleepy. im out.

down with cough and feels like im gonna have fever soon.
feel so weak all over
but why do i still eat so much when im not feeling well?!

went gym on tues with xiaohui.
walked all the way from tampines to her house (which is at tanah merah) and we both felt really accomplished :D
den introduced xiaohui to bigbang.
hahahahaha she fell in love with top in 3 seconds.
poor minho, gone from her heart just like that.
but top really is pretty hot.

went out with the girls on thurs.
bloody pumps. killed my feet.
nevertheless, it was a nice day :)
love you guys many many!

met up with the cousins on friday.
xiangjie is finally back!! :D
had good jap food at ion.
and watched 2012, which was really really good.
den rushed to teoheng and spent the rest of the night singing and watching jonathan perform Gee :D

i really wish i can get well soon because theres so much things i haven dooooooo!!!!!

i don't get what you're trying to do.

arghhhhh the anger. its just a small thing but it made me boil up to the brim. argh i was never like this, to be angry with someone for so long. but its really...........
wtf has it got to do with you anyway?

its just bio and chem left and then MUHAHAHAHAHAHA..
i remember the first day of 'O's when i was sitting at my seat, i was wishing damn hard that it would suddenly rain den a bolt of lightning would strike into the hall and hit me so that i could die instantly.
and now its ending!!!!!!! :D

i shouldn't be like this. i'll get hit by karma.

'O' Levels in 2 days + not confident in any subject + cramps like no mother + putting on unthinkable amount of weight = not a very nice feeling.

._______________.

good thing theres super junior bigbang ss501 music!

jasmine, we must resist the temptations.

what if i just stop here and now.






sigh.
fuck you, amath assessment book.
fucking, fucking demoralising.

im not myself when you're around.

tonights gonna be a good night.

eventful day.

results are kns(like always) and im not really proud about it(like always) so im not going to say much.

but after school was gooooooooooood.
cheap k + kfc dinner.
how to not good :D

sang so many old songs today at k. no, not the Tong Hua kind of old, but the Ai Ru Chao Shui kind of old HAHA wat the heck eh. but still it was fun lol.

dinner was really good, because the honest and straightforward conversation was so happening. hahahahaha.
okay some parts made me quite sad and disturbed but LIFE'S LIKE THAT, so i decided to shuttup and let it go
instead of writing one whole long emo post like what i would have done last time heh heh heh heh.

its so cool that we can still talk about anything under the sun after so long 8D

can't wait for the next dinner liddat.
DUN EAT SAKAE W/O ME LA PLS
WAIT FOR ME LA K DUN GO ON FRIDAY. heh.

okay, the skin is changed.
!!!!

yes but theres alot of problems with the skin.
like.
my profile part is gone.
so is the textbox!
and the music player!
and the links!

k. the truth is.
im pretty much an idiot at this blogskin stuff.
think you guys would have realised it.
since i take so bloody long to make one blogskin.

):
im not a very bright person.....

trying to figure out how to modify this blogskin hurts my self-esteem even more.
):

so yah. make do with this blogskin.
kbye.

Helloooooooooooooooooo!

blogger is being weird.
the whole page is like white, with only the box and some other buttons.
or has blogger changed so much since the last time i logged in? o.O

okay anyhooooooooooooo.
HELLO LIL PEOPLE ITS BEEN A GAZILLION YEARS SINCE I'VE LAST DONE THIS!!
yes yes.
and i always seem to blog at the wrong time.
like, theres emath + bio tomorrow.
tomorrow.
tomorrow.
tomorrow.
.
.
.
and here i am typing. still typing. still typing.

ohwells. life has been quite mundane these days.
yet i can't say tt its thaaaaaaaaat bad....
okay i dunno wat im saying.

oh yes yes i rmbed.
i screwed up my o lvl orals.
darn it.
screw those ppl who did well.
screw you qinhui, screw you.
.
.
.
ok no kidding heh.

my dad just came into the room and asked me abt my exams.

dad: whens ur exams until?
me: this friday.
dad: wrong answer, its this november.
me: no, its........riiiight.

i will nvr stop studying until after 'O's with such a pressurising father at home.

thanks to xiaohui, im in love with wade johnston <3<3.
he's o******* HAHAHA.

okay la anyway.
i htink i'll be changing my blogskin this weekend.
to a temporary less annoying one.
although nobody comes across this blog already.... but ah well it makes me happier to change the skin.

27 july 2009

Something weird happened during dinner just now.
was eating and talking to my eldest sis just now when suddenly i noticed at the corner of my eye something on the floor.
so i turned to look at the floor.
and i saw a tiny frog.
which wasn't very tiny.
like..

--------------------------------------------

it was about the length of the line above?
yea go imagine.
so of coursed we freaked out and ran to the living room, afraid tt the frog was going to start hopping uncontrollably everywhere.
den i realised tt, the frog wasn't hopping.
instead it was kind of crawling on the ground.
and it couldn't be injured cos all of its legs were crawling.
it didn't even hop when my dad catched it.
a frog tt doesn't hop, but CRAWLS?

okay anyhoo.
sorry for not blogging for so long(thats if anybody still comes around here. heh.)
the reason im not blogging is kinda dumb so im not going to say it out here lest people start going 'HUH'.
.
.
.
.
.
okay fine i will tell u all since u all are so keen to know.
i am sick of my blogskin.
i mean. look at my act chio buay chio photos up there.
sooo.. i am currently working on a nicer blogskin!
and i will change my url to something less embarrassing than the one above to go along with my nice nice blogskin.
i guess the next time i blog here would be to inform you guys tt my blogskin is READY!! and also to tell u all of my new url.
.
.
.
WAT WAS I THINKING WHEN I MADE THE BLOGSKIN LAST TIME.
HOLY COW.
ARE U NOT SICK OF MY FACE UP THERE?
(okay even if you are, dun tell me pls. will feel abit heart pain.)
goes to show how ppl change, their preferences and all.

im supposed to be studying bio now.
but i've had something kept inside me for.......................................
very long.
i didn't want my first post in my new upcoming blog to be some sad depressing annoying post.
hence i shall type all my shit here!
although it doesn't make it any better that my last post here is going to be a post full of complaints....
but ohwells.

i guess this is what it means by when you gain something, you'll lose something too.
i get it, but its just so fustrating.
to see you not realising
to see you not doing anything
to see you not feel the same way
but i guess we all have choices, we aren't tied down to anything,
we are all given the priviledge of choosing
and talking to anybody or anyhead or anytoe we like
we didn't promise each other anything,
i guess i was the only person who saw it as a promise
and i feel so dumb.
i don't feel that important anymore
in fact at times i feel like shit.
im a person that doesn't like to fight for something if someone else wants it bad
so i guess im giving in
if you still give a shit at all.


maybe im overeacting and maybe my mind is as usual just thinking too much.
ahh shall not type any more here.
if not i think i'ld be writing until tmr.

im not angry.
i might seem like i am,
but no la im really not.